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Exile

by Backover

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1.
Ruins 01:32
2.
Like Moths 01:37
Searching years spent searching For places away from the bitterness Of the screams of an unloving world Years wasted searching For absence Deceived by imagination "So ramble my soul My soulsick body. This will never stop haunting me Embrace the darkness Embrace this solitude. That place in bright dreams will never be" I'll learn to live In this world that hates my guts I'll learn to live In this world i once tried to love No more searching I've seen enough ruins No more hiding No haven left for me.
3.
I'm watching as this world descends to hell Lost between shades of grey Colors are disappearing And i'm dying with every breath that i take Eyes blinded by greed can't see that we are nothing And i just watch with my hands tied The heat of end times, melting my eyes "No hope no future Only living in fear" But the bright world that's promised is not Illuminated by sunlight Everything dies one by one Our world is bleeding to death And these hands are covered in red Where seeing eyes go blind And hearing ears go deaf Where feeling hearts go numb Am i the one who's sick? And i just watch With my hands tied I just watch As we all fall And we live with this And we sleep with this Comfort ourselves with utopic dreams And we live with this And we sleep with this With small doses, we get addicted to misery And i pray but no one hears I pray, blind eyes deaf ears I pray cause it's all that's left for me.
4.
"Do you hear me?" I've been wallowing in fallacy And now that i'm "free" I'm left feeling empty Cause something died in my heart I ended up in a place i despised Feel my faith fade into an unholy nothingness With these chains of obscurity Free is something i'll never be I had this "great epiphany" Which left me shattered in darkness, drifting silently Echoes of my calls are only response from above I scream at the sky but it's all empty Like me I need a sign, i crave for light, my life's been in a total blackout I need a sign, it's been a long time since i last saw things clear and white Is this the only life we have? Well i guess i'm fucked anyway.
5.
I should have known I thought i could escape Quicksand of distrust Pulls me in again Just when i thought That i was safe inside this place I watch it collapse before me again Denying the past An addictive mistake The faces change The curse stays the same I should have known This circle never breaks I should have known This pain never fades So save your breath You feed the same Somehow it's still me who walks in shame So i'll walk away Another stab wound on my back Somehow it's still me who's facing regrets.
6.
Disconnect 02:21
You see me yet i'll remain unseen You hear me yet i'll remain unheard Holding back the tears, repression of self Creating projections to mask it Deep down inside there's me And i'll hide me passionately From narrow minds, from shallow hearts From your "love", immersed in lies I'll hide me cause i just can't feel you And everything you've abandoned and left behind I'll embrace them all When they're left to rust and collect dust They'll shine bright in my heart So that's where i'll be This shell you see isolates me So far away from all of you and everything you do Distant and apart under the same roof So far away from you In my own little world In this disconnect In this solitude I'll hide me.
7.
We'll gather the leftover joy In someone else's laughters We lie, they laugh Left facing broken mirrors When they're gone Crooked lullabies for their deaf ears Selfless tricks for their blind eyes How much longer do you think We can wear this poisonous smile? How much longer we can live Feeding emptiness posing as clowns? We’re sinking deeper And those laughs won’t last It’s already hurting Hiding behind this mask We'll be crucified to isolate Choose between social death And bleeding in this pretend It is us that are dying either way This is how i feel No longer can i hide what's real This is how i feel No longer can i let them feed I'll serve them no more.
8.
I wanted to be the one The painter of that picture You had in your mind With a heart all shriveled up and dried Scared to love, scared of love Attempting to be a couple Under dim lights Where all the lights died I'm stranger to this dance Somehow so tired and worn out Playing the wrong songs At the wrong places and wrong times Love could save us both But i guess i'm beyond saving now And early death and you came late So let this be our last dance As we dance and scream in great harmony, We'll never be This is how i show you my scars How i bled out all the love i got And if we're together somehow We'll be forever lost.
9.
Strangers 04:24
Restless soul. It takes just one glance And you can't wipe that Grimace off your face. Hollow-hearted smiles you hide behind Are not enough to hide that pure disgust This stream, it overcomes You end up stranded Deserted shores: Closest thing to a home Patience running dry Your time is running out Restless soul Now you're all alone. How naive you were to think That was your song? As you watch those harbors you thought so safe collapse one by one Before your eyes You finally realize the light That's going off inside Feels like a curse in disguise So take another look Cause this is a part of you And you're a part of this But you can't quite fit You're "broken", a stranger So same yet so different Strangers This is our cross to bear Strangers Outside is where we belong.
10.
Insomnia 01:04
Just give me one moment To respire and catch my breath There's a never-ending war inside my head Never at peace with myself War drums resonate in my chest Endlessly haunting me while I'm yearning for sleep Head against the wall for one piece From that sacred peace Just for once it's the silence i need Don't wanna hear the birds sing Just one moment Free from those whispers and screams Just one moment I guess they will never leave.
11.
These are the shortest days Followed by the longest nights Waiting for the sunrise, A sun that never shines As the lights of despair creeping in I remain untouched by the rest again Some kind of paralysis of soul Something i've never tasted And it's getting harder To see it all clear It's getting harder To suppres this growing anger These are the wasted days Followed by the sleepless nights These demons inside my mind Got the best of me, i'm left to rot And i'll lay the blame on fate Hence my self destructing ways Asking: "If it'll wash the pain away What's the difference between sleep and death?" It's getting harder To walk the same paths It's getting harder To hold together these pieces Losing hope Losing love Losing faith Losing sleep Losing days Losing control A slow march every day To a meaningless grave I can't live like this I'll settle for anything that'll keep me sedated I can't live like this This rising sun should mean something These are the lost days These are my lost days These demons in my head They stole my everything Now i'm taking it all back I'm taking my life back.
12.
Exile 06:56
No more searching I've seen enough ruins No more hiding No haven left that's solid I'm just a ghost wandering In these solitary streets Empty and gloomy, mirroring me From the cracked sidewalks leaks a story I'm just a ghost wandering As i get lost in these streets, i get closer to me These places pass through me Again i fall with solitude by me When every face becomes the same Solitude is my friend A blessing and a curse Everything i've ever had In this ocean of distrust Darkness is a Nile When a home is non-existent My soul's trapped in state of exile So i'll sink to deep And sing the same songs. Banished from the sky In my niche for one "I am the dead one, who won't accept death I am the hateful one, trying to find love again I'm here where i'm not, this is a life i must accept I'm the unwanted one, i'll make sure you never forget Fuck you for hating full of spite i will survive Fuck you for rejecting full of spite i will survive Fuck you for deceiving full of spite i will survive Fuck you for everything full of spite i will survive" I never thought that i would sing this song But now i see that we can never truly belong I never thought that i would live this life I've been mourning since the day my innocence died This is the story of a ghost in a skin Since the day i was born, everything i've ever been This is the story of an exile And it will end the way that i write "I will live more than you let me. I will be more than you let me."

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Debut full length album by Backover

credits

released May 14, 2020

Mixed and Mastered by Genco Kulaksiz
Guitars recorded at Kinik Recordz by Gurur Bozkurt

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Backover İstanbul, Turkey

Vox - Ozan
Guitar - Yasin
Bass - Emre
Drums - Ceyhun

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